I don’t know about y’all, but I am a huge fan of erotica.  Before I found porn I could appreciate, I practically lived on erotica for my wanking delights!  The trouble is, though, that well-written erotica is hard to come by.  As a complete word-nerd, poor writing can completely kill my ladyboner.

My friend Editrix Abby has been gracious enough to share some of her incredibly sexy erotica on her blog (along with dating snafus and other tidbits).   If you click the above link, you’ll go straight to my favorite of the bunch she has posted, but you can also check out more of her work (and the rest of her life tidbits, which are sardonic and fantastic) on the homepage of her blog.  Do it!

11:26 am  •  13 February 2012  •  1 note  •  View comments

Ass Grabbing. Not ALL the time. But enough to know that the ass in question is approved of and lusted after. I mean, we’ve got a lot to worry about back there — is it too big? Too small? Too flat or lumpy or wide? We don’t know! We can’t even see it! You grab it, passionately yet discreetly, and we are reassured. This is especially important if you are in any sort of long term relationship. If you’re in an LTR and you’re not already grabbing her ass regularly, you should go find your balls and figure out which of your friends she’s boning. Cost — Free.

This particular post is a bit old, but it’s one of my favorites. 

I Know What Girls Like, by Eliza Skinner (a comedienne/performer who is now based out of LA, if I remember correctly).

#2, #4 (see below), and #7 are the best, in my humble opinion.  Thoughts?

5:00 am  •  6 May 2011  •  1 note  •  View comments

Jamie DeWolf is rad.

Look at ya, standing in front of the mirror saying, “I think I’m getting a gut!”

What are you, Kate Moss on a coke binge?

You should have the guts to have a gut!  That’s why they call them GUTS!

…

Your body is the word FIRE spelled out in braille

And the blind could feel your heat even if it was sent through the mail

Watch the whole thing.  Fall in love a little. 

1:05 pm  •  5 May 2011  •  View comments

I’m not talking about myself!  I’m talking about Peter DeWolf, one of the sexiest writers on the internet.  I discovered his writing through my friend’s absolutely hilarious blog, Dating is Miserable.  He wrote a guest post for her that was beyond brilliant, and then, much to my dismay, I forgot all about him.  Cursed brain!  She recently reposted something else (brilliant) of his which lead me to this link that y’all should read: how to treat a woman.

Read up!

Number one way to get into my pants/heart: Be Peter DeWolf.  Everyone else: Sorry, you’ll have to try harder.

4:53 am  •  5 May 2011  •  View comments