i’m in a mixed group with some students, discussing sexual assault. i asked if anyone feels like assault is the victim’s fault, to raise their hand. one boy raised his hand and started to explain that girls who wear revealing clothing, or get excessively drunk should be held responsible for…
So I wrote a piece for TitsAndSass on respectability politics and why Black folks, specifically Black women who are sex workers, should have been included in the respectability politics roundtable they did earlier this week.
It’s up now and I’m pretty nervous about it, but would appreciate ya’ll reading and sharing it if you would.
HI OKAY my friend Jessica has been missing since 3:06pm Oct. 7. The last her mom heard from her she said she was frightened by someone on her way home. Her phone was last traced to Ennis, TX, about an hour from where she lives. She drives a grey 4-door Ford Focus. They are working on an Amber Alert right now.
IF YOU HAVE ANY NEWS PLEASE LET ME KNOW.
Yall signal boost the shit out of the because with the government shut down the Amber Alert system is not currently on line and working.
I’ve been a freelance writer about sexuality, current events, cultural critique, feminism, and intersectionality for years now. I’ve been published in multiple books (“Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love & Fashion” and “Johns, Marks, Tricks and Chickenhawks: Professionals & Their Clients Writing about Each Other”, this year) , along with writing pieces for Slixa and academic books coming out next year about consent culture, queerness, and sex work. I maintain two blogs, a personal one and one about critiquing rape/entitlement culture, all while also doing freelance social media. I also speak when I can at various conferences, often focusing on creating a consent culture within alternative communities.
Over the last year, though, I’ve found it difficult to focus on my writing when I’ve been hustling nonstop to pay the rent and eat meals. Writing is my passion, and it’s something I really want to spend more time and energy on. Many platforms at my disposal won’t pay for my writing at all (they pay in “exposure”), or I’m somewhat limited in what I can discuss/critique because of the focus of the platform. I want to spread my wings… and I want to work on a book.
I’ve put off work on my first book for almost a year now. I have a vague outline for a Consent Culture book, along with a zine, that will allow me to signal boost multiple voices within alternative communities discussing consent- what it means to them, how they interact with it, how they help cultivate it within their communities. I’ve already spoken to a couple of publishers about what they need from me, and really, it will just take some help from the community to have the time to focus on it rather than on multiple new social media gigs.
I figure by going directly to my community and asking for their help in supporting this process, I can get to work on stuff that actually matters to those who read my blog, follow my social media accounts and know me personally.
So here’s how this works- you set a tip amount for whenever I release a new article (as low as $1 per article!). You can decide how much you’re willing to spend per month, and can even set a limit so you can create a budget (in case I write more than expected). My definition for this is a piece that’s 750+ words- it might be work on my book (which I’ll keep you updated on), a piece for one of the blogs I run, or another forum. Content will cover topics relating to intersectional feminism, sex work, mental health, consent culture, and current events- sometimes framed as a critique, sometimes more personal.
So I never do things like this, but I had a horrible week of ableism and fatphobia— a physical therapist working with my leg issues made a bunch of problematic comments, my endocrinologist fat-shamed me for needing a change in diabetes meds, and then a mental health professional suggested i’m only fat because “i’m subconsciously using my size to keep people away and hide from my fear of sexuality.” UGHHH. So I made a fat disabled sexuality photoset to cleanse my life of that toxic shit.
Image description: photo set of a fat light-skinned Latina with long curly brown hair [a wig]. First pic: lying on a bed holding a sign that reads “gorda, discapacitada, y que!” 2nd pic: in a manual wheelchair wearing black lace lingerie/thigh highs, holding a sign that says “my body is not a symptom of my mental illness.” (and it would be ok if my body was, too). 3rd pic: standing with a cane in same outfit, with a sign reading “health disability pride at any size” in graphic design style. 4th pic: standing in red and black lingerie/thigh highs, posing with her cane and medications. 5th pic: kneeling on a bed holding a sign reading “fat disabled dykes do it better | or don’t-do-it better, bc consent is impt. and sexiness is not a requirement 4 anyone.” 6th pic: in her wheelchair with arched back/head (implications of sexual arousal) with a red background/rain coming down filter added to the photo.